How To Achieve Mastery Of Self
Drinking My Water and Minding My Business
“I will not text him back because he cheated on me, with my best friend” … Proceeds to not only text him back, but invite him over for Netflix and chill.
“I will wake up at 5 am.” … Proceeds to hit the snooze button until 8…8:15…8:30…9 am.
“I will commit to a healthier lifestyle by taking the stairs at work today.”… Proceeds to the elevator.
“I will cook for dinner instead of eating out.”… Proceeds to Chic-fil-a.
“I will drink my water, and mind my business.” … Proceeds to not drink my water, and not mind my business.
Self. Sabotaging. Behavior...
We’ve all been a victim of this at some point in our lives. Say we want one thing, and proceed to do another. Say we want to accomplish a goal, but then our actions don’t line up.
Before we know it, we look up and we’re at a certain age with nothing to show for it. At a certain age and the way we thought life would be, isn’t exactly so.
It’s an addictive cycle. But like any addiction it can be broken. What it requires is self mastery. The ability to control our thoughts, words, and actions to the point where we consciously guide our life in a specific direction. This isn’t an easy task, and it takes years of practice and unlearning bad behavior, but it can be done, and this guide will show you where to start. Keep reading if you want to find out how…
1. Have a vision for your life
Get clear on the type of person you want to be and the life you want to live. Some things to consider would be your social life, spiritual life, work life, home life, relationships, finances, health and fitness… Basically your overall lifestyle.
Imagine living a life where you are happy and fulfilled. What would that look like? Consider making a vision board to hang up in your bedroom or office… or a mood board that you can save as the background on your cell phone. Both are great options for getting clear and staying focused on the direction you want to steer towards.
2. Raise your self awareness
When you decide to raise your self awareness, the goal is to have an awareness of your thinking so much so that no thought just slips by you. This means that your brain no longer runs on autopilot and there is a system of checks and balances when it comes to your thoughts, words, and actions.
You can start by taking inventory of your thoughts on a day to day basis. Constantly ask yourself, “What am I thinking right now?”
3. Expose your limiting beliefs
Limiting beliefs are beliefs that limit your capacity to grow and evolve. They are beliefs that put a cap on what is possible for you. Exposing your limiting beliefs means calling them out, calling their bluff, and discrediting the source. For example, who says procrastination is okay? Call that belief out. Discredit the source or where that belief came from. Maybe someone who raised you was always late to events, or never planned things ahead of time and you unconsciously picked up on that trait. Discredit the source by stating why that habit was toxic in their life and why it won’t benefit you in where you’re trying to go. Then get ahead of it. Whenever you feel yourself about to procrastinate expose it.
Do this for every limiting belief in your life.
⁃ Who says you have to be overweight because it supposedly runs in the family? Call it out, discredit the source, and get ahead of it.
⁃ Who says you have to settle for a toxic relationship because it’s impossible to find a faithful, intelligent man or woman who’d be into you? Call it out, discredit the source, and get ahead of it.
4. Form new beliefs
Getting ahead of your limiting beliefs requires forming new, more beneficial beliefs. Instead of believing it is okay to procrastinate, create a new belief that doing things in advance and being ahead of time is healthy and less stressful.
Make your new beliefs concrete through repetition of thoughts, words, and actions that support it. When situations come up that require a deadline, reaffirm yourself that you will get things done ahead of time. Take action that supports your new beliefs like creating a system for scheduling and planning dates out two weeks in advance.
If there’s ever a question about what your new beliefs should be, base them on who God says you are. Do this for every belief or story that needs rewriting because it goes against the vision for your life.
5. Make better decisions based on a better belief system
Once you’ve formed new and improved beliefs, it’s time to back your new beliefs with new actions so that you can start seeing better results. To do this create new routines around your new beliefs. For example, based on my new belief about procrastination I will start using a planner. I will start writing to do lists and prioritizing the things on that list according to urgency. I will also set 1 hour aside at the beginning of each week to plan each week, etc.
Here’s another example… Based on my new belief about health I will drink more water and less beer. I will workout 3 times a week at 8 pm. I will take the stairs everyday at work instead of the elevator, etc...
You can began making better decisions based on your better belief system as early as today.
6. Keep at it
Just like anything else in life, good things take time and making these new beliefs apart of your core with take time and consistency. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results instantly and never beat yourself up when you make mistakes. Just dust yourself off and get back to it.
In moments when you can’t physically see the fruits of your labor, practice having faith. Sometimes you just have to know that things will work out… especially because the good things don’t always have instant gratification. However, the rewards that manifest in time will always be worth the wait.
Pray when you need your strength renewed and the will to keep going. Talks with God are the best remedy for a spirit of impatience and the desire to give up or revert back to your old self sabotaging ways.
Keep at it in the good times and the bad times. Your efforts will eventually be rewarded if you just stay the course.